animalstalkinginallcaps: I tell you to floss, but do you listen? No. And now look at you. Your molars look like lemon poppyseed muffins. UHN SARRUH, DAHGGA TZDELL. Don’t “I’m sorry Doctor Tisdale” me, Geraldine. Floss, or you will never get a boyfriend. UHM AGJILLEH DAYDIN A SHEVNAU. Did you just say you’re dating a chef? YEZ. That’s so hot. When I’m done cleaning these abominations I want details.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I tell you to floss, but do you listen? No. And now look at you. Your molars look like lemon poppyseed muffins.

UHN SARRUH, DAHGGA TZDELL.

Don’t “I’m sorry Doctor Tisdale” me, Geraldine. Floss, or you will never get a boyfriend.

UHM AGJILLEH DAYDIN A SHEVNAU.

Did you just say you’re dating a chef?

YEZ.

That’s so hot. When I’m done cleaning these abominations I want details.

Inexplicable Photos From Russia

wired: [via animalstalkinginallcaps]: HELLO? PETERS- HELLO? HELLO! PETERSON? PETERSON, ARE YOU STILL THERE? HELLO? I’M SORRY. I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS ‘JAWBONE’ THING WORKS. HELL, IF WE’RE BEING HONEST I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BLUETOOTH IS, BUT THE GIRL IN THE COMMERCIAL WAS SUPER CUTE SO I PUT IT ON THE EXPENSE ACCOUNT. DON’T PUT THAT IN THE REPORT. DON’T PUT ANYTHING IN THE REPORT. I’M COMING INTO THE OFFICE, I’LL WRITE IT MYSELF.  ARE YOU STILL THERE?   PETERSON, SAY SOMETHING IF YOU CAN HEAR ME. PETERSON? HELLO! Totes been there. Totes done that.

wired:

[via animalstalkinginallcaps]:

HELLO? PETERS- HELLO? HELLO! PETERSON?

PETERSON, ARE YOU STILL THERE? HELLO?

I’M SORRY. I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS ‘JAWBONE’ THING WORKS. HELL, IF WE’RE BEING HONEST I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BLUETOOTH IS, BUT THE GIRL IN THE COMMERCIAL WAS SUPER CUTE SO I PUT IT ON THE EXPENSE ACCOUNT. DON’T PUT THAT IN THE REPORT. DON’T PUT ANYTHING IN THE REPORT. I’M COMING INTO THE OFFICE, I’LL WRITE IT MYSELF. 

ARE YOU STILL THERE?  

PETERSON, SAY SOMETHING IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.

PETERSON?

HELLO!

Totes been there. Totes done that.

nationalpost:

No escaping hobo cop: New tactic aims to catch drivers using cellphones on the road
A scruffy looking man — hoodie up, clutching a tattered sign scrawled on a scrap of cardboard — shuffled up to a car at a busy intersection in this city west of Toronto. Drivers instinctively looked away.

But this sign’s wording was different from the usual begging appeal: “My name is Constable Mike Cairns. If you are reading this sign you are about to get a cell phone ticket.”

Across Canada over the past several weeks, police officers have been dressing as panhandlers and clutching cardboard signs to mimic the curbside come-ons in order to get close enough to see drivers using handheld phones while driving. (Photos: David Ritchi for National Post; Handout)

(Source: fuckyeahhighqualitypics)

(Source: fuckyeahhighqualitypics)

(Source: fuckyeahhighqualitypics)

(Source: fuckyeahhighqualitypics)